BODY: The Vehicle for Our Experience

— Body Image and Separation, Part 1 —

By Laura Palermo

This article—and I have a feeling it won’t be the last one on the subject—is about our relationship to our body. I have changed shape many times throughout my life. I have grown taller, put on weight, lost weight, put it on again, one day I may even get shorter . . . You get the picture.

Since a young age, I thought the way I looked directly related to my value. This belief was partly due to the experiences I endured when I was little. It is also because of my tenuous relationship with my body. I dared not look too long in the mirror; I did not listen to what my body was telling me, I neglected to nurture it when it was not as strong—in essence, I felt separate from my body. I hid away from being fully present in my form.

I hope that through reading this series helps others come to realisations about their own experience with body image. I have learned so much from my experiences that continue to fuel my progress. Yes, I would like to be fitter and stronger. And I will be. But for it to stick and for my happiness, the internal must change along with the external. Even writing this article is therapeutic for me.

Trauma can have a direct impact on how you see yourself. You can be slim and toned and still feel uncomfortable in your skin. I have experienced this first-hand. Any physical discomfort, whether it be pain or from your perception of how you look (which can manifest in physical sensations) can have a significant effect on how you experience life. These issues keep your focus internal and make it difficult to appreciate what is around you. You see your insecurities, feel your anxiety, hear your self-deprecating thoughts, and you might even shy away from physical contact in fear of being looked at “too closely”. I think by now, you get my point.

There are lots of articles about “negative body image” out there. Many of which have a heavy focus on being overweight or too thin. But, what about the person that is perceived to be healthy? I’m talking about the one who’s insecurities are not visible to the naked eye; the one that is good at hiding in plain view. In a recent article on positivepsychology.com, Courtney Ackerman discusses the definition of Positive Body Image. It is worth a read.

I appreciate articles that discuss positive actions you can take to get out of this spiral of self-depreciation. A recent article by Jade Yap on tinybuddha.com comes to mind. Many of us aren’t conscious of the ways that we are adding fuel to the fire of our insecurity. One thing is for sure. We only have one body in this life. We cannot trade it in for a sleeker model. And even if we did, at some point that cycle will resurface, ready to be dealt with from the inside out.