BODY: The Vehicle for Our Experience

— Body Image and Separation, Part 1 —

By Laura Palermo

This article—and I have a feeling it won’t be the last one on the subject—is about our relationship to our body. I have changed shape many times throughout my life. I have grown taller, put on weight, lost weight, put it on again, one day I may even get shorter . . . You get the picture.

Since a young age, I thought the way I looked directly related to my value. This belief was partly due to the experiences I endured when I was little. It is also because of my tenuous relationship with my body. I dared not look too long in the mirror; I did not listen to what my body was telling me, I neglected to nurture it when it was not as strong—in essence, I felt separate from my body. I hid away from being fully present in my form.

I hope that through reading this series helps others come to realisations about their own experience with body image. I have learned so much from my experiences that continue to fuel my progress. Yes, I would like to be fitter and stronger. And I will be. But for it to stick and for my happiness, the internal must change along with the external. Even writing this article is therapeutic for me.

Trauma can have a direct impact on how you see yourself. You can be slim and toned and still feel uncomfortable in your skin. I have experienced this first-hand. Any physical discomfort, whether it be pain or from your perception of how you look (which can manifest in physical sensations) can have a significant effect on how you experience life. These issues keep your focus internal and make it difficult to appreciate what is around you. You see your insecurities, feel your anxiety, hear your self-deprecating thoughts, and you might even shy away from physical contact in fear of being looked at “too closely”. I think by now, you get my point.

There are lots of articles about “negative body image” out there. Many of which have a heavy focus on being overweight or too thin. But, what about the person that is perceived to be healthy? I’m talking about the one who’s insecurities are not visible to the naked eye; the one that is good at hiding in plain view. In a recent article on positivepsychology.com, Courtney Ackerman discusses the definition of Positive Body Image. It is worth a read.

I appreciate articles that discuss positive actions you can take to get out of this spiral of self-depreciation. A recent article by Jade Yap on tinybuddha.com comes to mind. Many of us aren’t conscious of the ways that we are adding fuel to the fire of our insecurity. One thing is for sure. We only have one body in this life. We cannot trade it in for a sleeker model. And even if we did, at some point that cycle will resurface, ready to be dealt with from the inside out.

One Foot in Front of the Other

By Laura Palermo

My journey until this point has been a bit of a rollercoaster ride. For me, it has been essential to look back on my experiences. Not to beat myself up about the “mistakes” I have made. Or, to consider how I could have done things differently. I look back to see how all these steps—however difficult—have been necessary for my self-growth and so that, through my work, I may support others on their journey.

If someone had told me 15 years ago that I would be doing the work I am doing now, I would have had trouble believing them. Over five years ago, a gifted healer told me that I was a healer myself (I feel everyone has this same innate ability in some capacity). She said there were situations and relationships in my life that were in the way of this. I had some things to work through before I could embark on that journey.

The thing is, it wasn’t until I started learning healing modalities, and taking psychic development classes that I was truly ready to heal and let go of the past. To do healing work, you don’t have to be fully healed. It is a constant process, peeling back the layers of the onion to reveal layers that you didn’t even know were there until it was time to let them go. As I continue my journey, every bit of progress I make towards my self-healing helps me in my work with others.

Now, regarding this “layers” business, some experiences leave an invisible mark that lays dormant until the time comes when another experience triggers it to resurface. Just because the effect is unnoticeable for a time, doesn’t mean that it is not there. What I feel is critical to remember is that you are not the person these traumas/issues have made you believe that you are; you are much more. I am all for seeing a spiritual healer when you need a loving nudge forward (sometimes we need one). But ultimately, we’re all responsible for the steps we take forward. Otherwise, it is so easy to fall back into the same issues which in turn means we spend so much more time, energy and even money on trying to “fix” things.

I decided to write this series of blog posts in the hopes of inspiring others to take the necessary steps for their self-healing. These posts are not meant to spark sympathy or to toot my own horn; I write them to remind you that you are not alone and out of every situation, there is something you can take with you that can help you move forward.

I look forward to sharing these articles with you.

Category: Experience Series